Assignment - 2 - Exploring Existential Depths: Susan Macleod's Journey and the Philosophical Realm

TOPIC OF THE BLOG:- 

This blog is part of an assignment for Paper 207 - Contemporary Literature in English - Sem - 4, 2024.

EXPLORING EXISTENTIAL DEPTHS: SUSAN MACLEOD’S JOURNEY AND THE PHILOSOPHICAL REALM

Table of Contents:- 

• Personal Details
• Assignment Details
• Abstract
• Key Words
• Introduction
• Absurdity
• Freedom and Choice
• Search for Meaning
• Authenticity and Self-Creation
• Existential Isolation
• Conclusion
• Works Cited

Personal Details 

• Name:- Pooja Anilbhai Bhuva 
• Batch:- M.A. Sem 4 (2022-2024) 
• Enrollment Number:- 4069206420220005 
• E-mail:- poojabhuva2002@gmail.com 
• Roll Number:- 15

Assignment Details 

• Topic:- Exploring Existential Depths: Susan Macleod's Journey and the Philosophical Realm
• Subject Code & Paper:- 22414 - Paper 207 - Contemporary Literature in English
• Submitted to:- Smt. Sujata Binoy Gardi, Department of English, MKBU, Bhavnagar 
• Date of Submission:- 26th April 2024
• About Assignment:- In this assignment, I am going to discuss the character named Susan MacLeod from the novel 'The Only Story' by Julian Barnes through the lens of existential depths and a philosophical point of view.

Abstract 

Susan Macleod's life trajectory in "The Only Story" serves as a powerful illustration of core existentialist ideas. From a young age, she is confronted with the absurdity and meaninglessness of existence through traumatic betrayals and injustices like child abuse and an abusive marriage. In pursuing an affair with a much younger man, Susan grasps at personal freedom and authenticity by defying societal conventions to forge her own identity. However, her quest for meaning and fulfillment is continually thwarted by further suffering, alienation, and her eventual descent into alcoholism and dementia. Despite intimate relationships, Susan remains fundamentally isolated in her inner subjective experiences that can never be fully shared. Her tragic life exemplifies the existentialist notion that we are all alone in grappling with existence's uncertainties and the search to create meaning amidst an indifferent universe. Susan's path poignantly encapsulates key existential themes of absurdity, freedom, authenticity, the quest for purpose, and the profound isolation of individual consciousness.

Key Words 

Character Study, Existential Crisis, Philosophical View, Psychological View, Susan MacLeod

Introduction 

Existential Crises, Loneliness, Betrayal, etc. are the terms which leave human lives on a hill that cannot be climbed easily. Susan Macleod, the protagonist from Julian Barnes' novel 'The Only Story,' faces a life-long uphill battle against existential crises, loneliness, and betrayal. Having endured sexual abuse from her uncle and a violently alcoholic marriage, Susan is repeatedly confronted with the harsh indifference of the universe and a lack of inherent meaning. Her passionate affair with the younger Paul offers temporary solace, but she ultimately succumbs to alcoholism and mental deterioration. Despite once having a husband and lover, Susan dies alone, her life a poignant example of how trauma, alienation, and life's existential struggles can leave one stranded on an isolating, lonely path that seems unscalable. Her tragic journey highlights the existentialist notion that we are all fundamentally alone in grappling with the uncertainties and angst of human existence.

About the Author: Julian Barnes, born in 1946 in Leicester, England, studied at Oxford. He worked on dictionaries and as a literary editor before gaining fame as a novelist. His awards include the Man Booker Prize for "The Sense of an Ending" and honors from France and Austria. Barnes, known for exploring themes like history and love, has written novels, stories, and essays. He lives in London and has also translated works by French and German authors. (Barnes) 

About the Novel: "The Only Story" by Julian Barnes is a novel that explores the complexities of love and relationships. The story is narrated by Paul, who looks back on his youth and reflects on a significant romantic relationship he had with a woman named Susan. The novel delves into the challenges and consequences of a love affair that begins in the 1960s when Paul is just 19 years old and Susan is 48. As the narrative unfolds, Barnes examines the impact of this unconventional love story on Paul's life and how it shapes his understanding of love, memory, and the passage of time. (Barnes)

Absurdity 

The concept of absurdity is central to existentialist thought, encapsulating the fundamental conflict between human beings' innate desire for meaning, order and reason, and the inherent irrationality and chaos of the universe. Susan Macleod's experiences lay bare this existential absurdity in stark and haunting ways. 

From a young age, Susan is confronted with the senseless trauma inflicted by her uncle's betrayal of her innocence. This shattering violation represents one of life's most egregious absurdities - the defiling of a child by someone who should protect them. It lays the foundation for Susan's struggle to find meaning amid the cruelties and injustices that can arbitrarily befall us. (Shreve) This early encounter with the absurd conditions Susan for the irrational horrors to come in her marriage to the violently alcoholic Gordon. (McAlpin) Despite the supposed sanctity of the marital bond, he physically and emotionally abuses her in drunken rages, at one point shoving her face into a door frame. The absurdity is compounded by the fact that this torment occurs within the domestic sphere that should represent safety, love and compassion. 

Susan's attempt to escape this unhappy situation through her passionate affair with the much younger Paul Roberts is equally steeped in absurdity. While the relationship offers a temporary reprieve from her marital misery, it cannot sustain itself against the irrationality of human desires. Paul's obsession devolves into unhealthy fixation, while Susan's stint of personal liberation morphs into self-destructive alcoholism and cognitive decline. Indeed, Susan's spiral into dementia and the loss of her very selfhood represents the ultimate absurdity. Despite our lofty ideals of rationality and self-determination, we are mere biological beings subject to the senseless deterioration of our bodily and mental faculties. Susan's descent cruelly robs her of any sense of purpose or coherence in a fundamentally unjust process.

Through each tragic turn, from childhood trauma to marital abuse to mental disintegration, Susan is continually battered by life's inherent absurdities and irrational injustices. Her sincere pursuit of fulfillment, happiness and autonomy is carelessly thwarted at every turn by chaotic, senseless forces beyond her control. Her story lays bare the existentialist notion that the universe is fundamentally devoid of any transcendent meaning or order - an indifferent void where reason, virtue and human strivings for significance are ultimately rendered absurd. (McAlpin) Susan's tortured journey exemplifies this bleak existentialist perspective in its rawest and most harrowing form.

Freedom and Choice 

Central to existentialist thought is the concept of radical freedom - the idea that human beings are fundamentally free agents unconstrained by predetermined essences or external forces. We alone have the power to authoritatively choose our paths and give meaning to our lives through our actions. Susan Macleod's passionate affair with Paul Roberts can be viewed as an emphatic embrace of this existential freedom. For years, Susan has languished in the soul-crushing confines of her marriage to the abusive alcoholic Gordon. Her domestic sphere has been one of oppression, fear, and a negation of her autonomy. Gordon's drunken rages and physical violence have effectively imprisoned Susan in a life of quiet desperation devoid of any self-determination. (Bijman) 

Her unlikely romance with the 19-year-old Paul represents a radical break from these shackles. Despite the vast age gap and conservative social mores of the time, Susan seizes upon this relationship as an exhilarating act of personal liberation. In doing so, she rejects the stifling role patriarchal society has prescribed for her as a subservient and objectified wife.

“For our joint sake, but mainly for hers. She had to scrub this mistake from her life and give herself the legal as well as the moral freedom to be happy. And being happy consisted of living with me, alone and unfettered.” (Barnes)

Susan's actions announce an authoritative rejection of her dehumanizing circumstances in favor of embracing her radical freedom to remake herself on her own sovereign terms. (Shreve) Of course, this freedom comes with immense responsibility and daunting consequences. Susan upends her entire domestic reality, extricating herself from her husband and her children to construct an entirely new life oriented around this distinctly taboo love. She sacrifices her respectable place in the community to indulge her authentic desires, even at the cost of alienating her own offspring. Paul as well jeopardizes his own social standing and academic future in the intoxicating throes of this affair. 

Yet for Susan, the profound act of claiming autonomy over her own existence is well worth these costs. Her love for Paul, while undoubtedly complex and ultimately destructive, at its core represents a pure assertion of Susan's existential freedom to remake her identity through the sheer force of her own radical choice. In this way, Susan's scandalous relationship encapsulates a quintessentially existentialist conception of the human condition - that we are radically free beings who must assume full responsibility in using that freedom to create our authentic selves through our chosen actions in the face of life's inherent anguish and absurdity. While the consequences of this affair ultimately lead Susan down a path of ruin, her initial decision to defy taxonomic existence exemplifies an individual authentically grasping the existential reins of her life.

Search for Meaning 

At the core of the existentialist philosophy is the notion that human existence is inherently devoid of any pre-defined essence or overarching purpose bestowed by a higher power or deity. Instead, we are "condemned to be free" - forced to construct our own subjective meanings and self-define our identities through the choices we make over the course of our individual lived experiences. Susan Macleod's arduous personal journey embodies this fundamentally human search for purpose and self-actualization amidst the uncertainty of existence. 

From the outset, Susan's life is tainted by traumatic betrayals of trust and love that challenge her ability to find meaning and fulfillment. The sexual abuse inflicted by her uncle as a child represents a shattering dissolution of the unconditional love and security that should characterize these formative years. This primal violation leaves Susan psychologically adrift, struggling to establish a core sense of identity, self-worth and existential rootedness moving forward. Her subsequent marriage to the violent, alcoholic Gordon only compounds this fraying of secure attachments and severed connections to sources of existential meaning. (Bijman) Far from the ideals of married partnership, their union is defined by emotional abuse, domestic terror, and the warping of what should be an equal, nurturing relationship into one of domination and objectification of Susan. This ugly deconstruction of love leaves her fundamentally adrift in her quest to find meaning through conventional societal narratives. (Shreve) 

It is thus perhaps unsurprising that Susan seeks out an unconventional path to personal meaning through her scandalous affair with the young student Paul Roberts. While risking societal censure, Susan embraces this relationship as an act of radical self-determination - grasping for meaning, fulfillment and identity construction on her own sovereign terms outside patriarchal prescriptions. For a time at least, Paul provides Susan with a renewed sense of passion, desire, and human connection that imbues her life with purpose.

Authenticity and Self-Creation 

A core idea in existentialist philosophy is that human beings are not born with a fixed, predetermined essence or purpose. Instead, we must create our own sense of self and meaning through the choices we make and the actions we take over the course of our lives. This concept is known as self-creation or authenticity. 

Susan Macleod's personal journey can be viewed as a series of efforts to live an authentic life according to her own desires rather than blindly conforming to societal expectations and norms. For many years, Susan exists in an inauthentic state of quiet desperation. Trapped in an abusive marriage to an alcoholic husband, she is little more than an oppressed, objectified housewife - far from actualizing her true self. However, Susan's decision to pursue a scandalous affair with the much younger Paul Roberts represents her first major grasp at authenticity and self-creation. Despite the relationship defying all social conventions of her time, Susan sheds her prescribed role and seizes the opportunity to embrace her authentic sexual and romantic desires outside of marital confines. In doing so, she is constructing a new identity for herself outside the existing identity that had been imposed upon her. 

Of course, this act of self-creation comes at a great cost. Susan upends her entire domestic reality, extricating herself from her husband and even alienating herself from her own children. Yet she deems these sacrifices worth it in order to finally live authentically and author her own narrative free from the demands of what society considers proper and acceptable. Her relationship with the young student allows her a taste of authoring her own story and experiencing desire on her own sovereign terms rather than the dehumanizing confines of her marriage. 

Indeed, Susan's single-minded pursuit of this relationship could be viewed as an overcompensation - a reflexive lurching towards radical authenticity after spending so many years living inauthentically under her husband's domination. Her actions represent an overcorrection, with the youthful passion of the affair operating as a vital escape valve enabling her to finally exhale and experience life as she innately craves it. Susan's journey portrays the existentialist notion that we all must constantly strive to create our own authentic identities aligned with our truest selves, even if that requires bucking societal pressures. (Selwyn) While her quest courts controversy and destruction, it emanates from an unflinching commitment to self-authorship and radical self-determinism - the courageous act of authoring one's own existence in defiance of ossified scripts. In this light, Susan's decisions, for better or worse, exemplify an individual grappling to forge an authentic life on their own sovereign terms.

Existential Isolation 

One of the central ideas in existentialist philosophy is that despite our closest bonds and most loving connections with others, each human being is fundamentally alone. This isn't meant in a gloomy or depressing way, but rather points to the fact that our subjective experiences of reality - our inner thoughts, emotions, and perceptions - can never be fully shared or understood by another person. We are isolated in our inner selves. Susan Macleod's life journey exemplifies this existentialist notion of aloneness, even amidst her most passionate and intimate relationships. On the surface, Susan's love affairs, especially her scandalous relationship with the younger Paul Roberts, would seem to represent the height of human connection and psychological closeness with another person. Yet underneath, an acute sense of existential isolation permeates. Despite the intense physical and emotional intimacy Susan shares with Paul, she remains haunted by an inability to make him comprehend the depths of her inner experience fully. The betrayal and abuse she endured as a child and later in her marriage to Gordon indelibly scar her psyche in ways Paul can never truly grasp, no matter how much Susan attempts to convey it. (Bijman) There is a kernel of her being that remains opaque and closed off. 

This existential isolation is exacerbated by the vast differences in their ages and life experiences. Susan has weathered decades of suffering, disillusionment, and had her idealism shattered in ways the young Paul cannot fathom from his position. An intrinsic divide separates their subjective realities that cannot be bridged, creating an ever-present loneliness surrounding Susan's innermost self. Even at their most deliriously entangled and in love, Susan senses Paul's ultimate remoteness from her internal universe. Her most profound thoughts, regrets, trauma, and hard-won perspective remain imprisoned within her subjective experience, unable to be transmitted perfectly through language or human expression to Paul or any other person. An impermeable boundary separates Susan from directly sharing or receiving perfect understanding of another's mind and memories. 

This conditioning sense of existential isolation only intensifies as Susan descends into alienation from herself through alcoholism and mental illness. Not only does she become cut off from Paul, but increasingly from her own self-identity and grasp on reality. She finds herself alone in an interior abyss of fractured cognition and delusion that walls her off from human connection entirely. Susan's trajectory illustrates the poignant existentialist truth that no matter how much we may crave perfect mutual understanding and communion with others, we are all inescapably alone in the confines of our individual subjective experiences. United by love or suffering, bound by circumstance or choice, we co-exist whilst separated by the impassable chasms of our sequestered interior selves. Susan's life is one of intimacies and passion, but also of irreducible existential isolation.

Conclusion 

In Conclusion, the existentialist philosophy is vividly captured through Susan Macleod's life story. Her quest for happiness, meaning, and self-discovery faced the existential challenges of loneliness and confusion. Her choices reflected the existentialist belief in individual freedom and responsibility, amidst the struggle with isolation and hardship. Susan's battles with alcoholism, dementia, and eventual solitude echo the existential notion of navigating life's uncertainties in an indifferent world. Through her journey, existential themes of purpose, defiance of societal norms, and the solitude of personal experiences are profoundly explored. This narrative provokes contemplation on how one finds authenticity and significance amid life's complexities and the inherent solitude of human existence.

Works Cited 

• Barnes, Julian. “Biography.” Julian Barnes, https://www.julianbarnes.com/bio/index.html. Accessed 25 April 2024. 
• Barnes, Julian. The Only Story. Random House, 2018. 
• Bijman, M. “It's not about mixed doubles at all – The Only Story, by Julian Barnes.” seven circumstances, 17 August 2018, https://sevencircumstances.com/2018/08/17/plodding-sadly-towards-disappointment-the-only-story-by-julian-barnes/. Accessed 25 April 2024. 
• "ChatGPT." Version 3.5, OpenAI, 2023, https://chat.openai.com/. Accessed 25 Apr. 2024. 
• "Claude AI." ClaudeAI.com, Claude Technologies Inc., 2022, https://www.claudeai.com/  Accessed 25 Apr. 2024. 
• McAlpin, Heller, and Julian Barnes. “Beautiful But Heartrending, 'The Only Story' Looks Back At Love Gone Wrong.” NPR, 17 April 2018, https://www.npr.org/2018/04/17/600902229/beautiful-but-heartrending-the-only-story-looks-back-at-love-gone-wrong. Accessed 25 April 2024. 
• Selwyn, Matthew. “Review: The Only Story by Julian Barnes | Bibliofreak.net.” Bibliofreak.net - A Book Blog, 25 June 2019, https://www.bibliofreak.net/2019/06/review-only-story-by-julian-barnes.html. Accessed 25 April 2024. 
• Shreve, Porter. “‘The Only Story,’ by Julian Barnes.” San Francisco Chronicle, 27 April 2018, https://www.sfchronicle.com/books/article/The-Only-Story-by-Julian-Barnes-12869809.php. Accessed 25 April 2024.

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